A Note on Basic Social Skills
Author: Katie
As Twitter, Facebook and other social media outlets gain popularity among the mainstream public it appears that some people aren’t entirely clear on the codes of conduct we have here in Socialmedialand. A recent event involving some people at work and our vendors led me to think it might be valuable to write a quick guide on manners to help everyone out.
Act Like You Would In Real Life
I was going to make a list of things to keep in mind but I really think that one thing covers it. If you were in a room full of people, good friends, acquaintances, business associates and a few people you hadn’t met yet – what would you say? Better yet, what would you literally announce to the room? What if you knew everyone there would have a historical transcript of everything you said, and anyone who joined the party later could see the transcript of what you’d said earlier. Then what would you say?
Would you tell your new boss that you will hate the work at that company?
Would you talk about an ongoing trial that you’re involved in?
Would you mention that vacation you took while you were ’having a family emergency’?
Would you say rude things about a city, your boss, your client, your {fill in the blank}?
Would you announce sensitive information about pregnancies, engagements, buying a house, or taking a new job without telling the people involved first?
No. you wouldn’t. So why would you say those things in a very public, permanent place? It doesn’t make sense. I wrote a previous post about being kind to others online – treating them how you’d like to be treated. Not saying anything at all unless you can say something nice. Now it’s time to take that a little further.
You’re online identity is no longer completely separated from your real identity. Like I’ve said before, privacy is now a tricky thing. The days of obscure AIM screen names are over. Even if you use an obscure word jumble as your Twitter ID or email address - it’s probably tied to your Facebook or LinkedIn which uses your real name – and clearly leads straight back to you.
So it’s time for another pearl of wisdom from our childhood:
Be Yourself
Don’t think you can say things online and they’ll disappear into cyberspace like a puff of smoke. Your words have meaning and they are linked to you. You don’t have to over-edit yourself; you can say how you feel about things, as long as you can take responsibility for having said them. Recognize that you are the same person online and offline and act accordingly and there shouldn’t be any more problems.
If you have any questions about specific instances – leave me a comment. It’ll be like a mini ”Ask Ms. Social Media Manners” column.
Photo credit: Someecards
Posted in 
Tags: 
Great list of basic social skills and a much needed reminder too. Many people think that social media tools are some form of back channels. Well, it used to be until the past 18 months. Now, with the explosion of Twitter and FB and everything else in between you have lots of people joining these forums. Now, it’s not a back channel system – its main stream. So, mind your manners!
Hi, Not sure that this is true:), but thanks for a post.
SonyaSunny
@SonyaSunny: What part do you disagree with and why?
Good article. Far too many people do not realize just what a small world we all really play in. Even when you think no one will know you or remember you, it comes back to haunt you in a job interview, social gathering or other personal way.
Given this new communication world, with its long memory and various uses and abuses, it is wise to stay focused on the fact that this is a social medium and there is no place for anti-social behavior. Now I know there are a number of sites that feature hate, bullying, misinformation, illegal activities and such, but that is not the area we are discussing so I am completely ignoring that element as you are. Lets leave it at that.
There are many examples of people losing their jobs because of the “mistakes” they made public. For example:
A. woman denied her degree because of Facebook page –(http://www.readwriteweb.com/archives/social_network_profile_costs_woman_college_degree.php)
Ottowa employees lost their job — http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2007/01/17/3394584-sun.html
Facebook post gets NFL Eagles’ worker fired — http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-10192227-71.html
That is just a small sample of what this medium can do to someone. It can ruin the career plans and the current careers. It is not a game and you are playing with fire if you treat it that way.
This all brings up a good point about the longevitiy of material and ownership of photos, blogs, comments and such. That is another very interesting topic that you might want to tackle. It was the heated topic recently when Facebook attempted to change its EULA. What should the rules be on retracting information from the web? Can there be a statute of limitations? How do we make sure that the writings and posts of a 12 year old child does not haunt them six to ten years down the road. We have concealed legal recods and privacy laws and other ways to protect ourselves even if the basis of the information is public. How can we extend that to the Internet? Should we? If it is my personal content, then why can’t I control it?
All serious issues and you have hit the tip of the iceberg.