As Twitter, Facebook and other social media outlets gain popularity among the mainstream public it appears that some people aren’t entirely clear on the codes of conduct we have here in Socialmedialand. A recent event involving some people at work and our vendors led me to think it might be valuable to write a quick guide on manners to help everyone out.

Act Like You Would In Real Life

I was going to make a list of things to keep in mind but I really think that one thing covers it. If you were in a room full of people, good friends, acquaintances, business associates and a few people you hadn’t met yet – what would you say? Better yet, what would you literally announce to the room? What if you knew everyone there would have a historical transcript of everything you said, and anyone who joined the party later could see the transcript of what you’d said earlier. Then what would you say?

Would you tell your new boss that you will hate the work at that company?

Would you talk about an ongoing trial that you’re involved in?

Would you mention that vacation you took while you were ’having a family emergency’?

Would you say rude things about a city, your boss, your client, your {fill in the blank}?

Would you announce sensitive information about pregnancies, engagements, buying a house, or taking a new job without telling the people involved first?

No. you wouldn’t. So why would you say those things in a very public, permanent place? It doesn’t make sense. I wrote a previous post about being kind to others online – treating them how you’d like to be treated. Not saying anything at all unless you can say something nice. Now it’s time to take that a little further.

You’re online identity is no longer completely separated from your real identity. Like I’ve said before, privacy is now a tricky thing. The days of obscure AIM screen names are over. Even if you use an obscure word jumble as your Twitter ID or email address - it’s probably tied to your Facebook or LinkedIn which uses your real name – and clearly leads straight back to you.

So it’s time for another pearl of wisdom from our childhood:

Be Yourself

Don’t think you can say things online and they’ll disappear into cyberspace like a puff of smoke. Your words have meaning and they are linked to you. You don’t have to over-edit yourself; you can say how you feel about things, as long as you can take responsibility for having said them. Recognize that you are the same person online and offline and act accordingly and there shouldn’t be any more problems.

If you have any questions about specific instances – leave me a comment. It’ll be like a mini ”Ask Ms. Social Media Manners” column.

Photo credit: Someecards